Dear God, Show me why I am here. Give me strength and speak through me and use me. I give you my self-interest, my self-sufficiency, and my pride. I can't do this on my own, I need you, Father. In Jesus name. Amen.

I am not really sure why I am here, but I know God has a plan. I feel like our team isn't bonded as much as I expected. I feel like I'm not seeing any change, or anything happen. But then I was reminded by Scarlett to "Expect God to do what He wants to accopmlish through you and not what you want to accomplish." Which is a paraphrase of Isaiah 55:11. But Isaiah 55: 8-11 really spoke to me:
⁸ "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.

⁹ "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

¹⁰ As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

¹¹ so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it."

God is in control. And He has me here for a purpose. And even though I am no seeing results, I am planting seeds. And before anything can grow, seeds must be planted. God also taught me that I am the messenger. It is up to Him to change and save people. He has just called me to share and tell. So I said to God, "Here I am, your servant, use me. Use me how you want too and not how I think I should be used. For you are God."

So the rest of my summer I am going to remember to "Stop expecting something and expect nothing." and to "Expect God to do what He wants to accoomplish through me and not what I want to accomplish."

Along with all of this I got homesick yesterday. I talked to my grandma. And my aunt Joy called me. And Alissa got on the phone and told me how she had moved up to the preschool class and how she would graduate next year. And I told her I missed her. Then she said I miss you too. Then she said Kacey, I love you. And with tears pouring form my eyes I said I love you too. And that made me miss her so much.
But I know I am here for a purpose and I have to fully trust and rely on God.

I am reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan, and I love it. In chapter 5 it says to put the book down and read the 4 Gospels. I have never sat and read the four Gospels all the way through. Francis Chan says to read the words form Jesus's point of view and think about how He wants use to live and serve and love. I have done that and God has shown me so many wonderful things about Him. About how initmate Jesus and God's relationship is and how that very same God desires that kind of relationship with me and how I desire that. Not only does He desire that kind of relationship with me but He desires that kind of relationship with EVERYONE! Thats so amazing that He wants to know us so personally. I cannot wrap my mind around it. All I can do is surrender everything to Him and follow Him because that is what He deserves is ALL OF ME! God has also given me a hunger and a thrist for His word. I am the type of person who just wants to read a devotional - short story and a verse. But now I can't stop reading God's Word. I cannot put it down. And I have longed for that type of passion. I am so excited to have it. God's Word is truly amazing and so powerful and full of life and I could go on and on. I am def. falling in love with my Creator more and more. And its so amazing.

Well thats about everything. Oh I forgot about VBS...last night was great we talked about worship. And I had one of my kids tell me her memory verse. Our verse is 1 John 4:9 God's love was revealed among us in this way. God sent His One and Only Son into the world so that we might live through Him. And yes I did that from memory. I am having fun teaching VBS. And results or no results God is at work and seeds are being planted.

I will update soon.

Please continue to pray for the children at FBC Trimble, for me, for our team, and anything else.
Thank you for all your prayers.
:) Kacey.